down
i feel really down now
i don have a thing want to do
i donno how to live, to be happy
desperately want to be cared deeply for
i even got hurt each time hearing somebody saying honey
i am so scared i will never be loved in next 25 yrs
when i lie in bed, i see the snowflake fall down the street, the tree and the window
i feel i am dying
i am empty and my heart is torn apart
i am growing older and older, but never grow up
i don, really donno how to move on all by myself
i stay in bathrom for an hour, letting the water pouring down on my head
i try to have a cry to release the stress
i cant just cant
trying so hard but couldnt make it
while i was drying my hair, i saw a smile face which makes me fucking sad
i keep demonstrating a smile at work, at school, at market and in front of everybody
i remember the days i used to have some one to fight
the days i used to have some one to hold
and now i couldnt feel nothing
i just need a who to surrport me, to hold me, to love me
to make me alive

i hate the weakness side of me so bad
however, everybody got weak sometimes
i never put my pressures on others shoulder
i am turning into an intense man i never thought i would be
i dreamt bout a person who will carry some pressures off me
id wait for life
even its too hard to wait
too desperate to wait
too sad to wait
and im afraid of the one will never walk into my life
i still pray and try to keep calm
i wish i could find the meaning of life in year 2009
a life i truly believe in